Monday, November 30, 2009

Charlotte Playing

Just a quick one of our cutie playing on her "jungle mat".


Nap time and Bath time


The past few weeks have gone by so fast and I can hardly believe we have an almost one month old. It's amazing how much she changes every day. Here are a few photos of one of Charlotte's favorite past times - bath time.....and one of mommy's favorite past times - nap time. I only wish I got more of them - naps that is...








Charlotte taking a bath and enjoying the warm water.



More bath time shots.




All snuggled up post-bath.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Scars are cool

[Pete] The week before Thanksgiving I had two doctors appointments. One for an ear nose and throat specialist and one with a dermatologist for a spot of concern over my right eyebrow. Charlotte had a doctor's appointment too.

Needless to say, we both got hit by the vampires: Charlotte had some blood drawn on her foot and I got the spot above my eyebrow removed for testing.

Our bodies are amazing gifts and tools. They really are so very plastic it seems. They repair themselves and with them we produce things.

A prevailing thought I had in the days shortly after Victoria gave birth to Charlotte (o by the way, Victoria and Charlotte do not prefer nicknames... their full names please): Our greatest commodity as humans is to be able to bring new people into God's creation. According to the Bible angelic beings cannot (or at least do not have the privilege to) reproduce living creatures after their own kind. We as humans do.

Also, angelic being long to see the salvation we as humans can enter into. When a third of the angelic beings fell in sin under the evil one's rebellion, the offer of forgiveness was not available for them after that decision. For humanity, God has been even more generous. He has provided a way of salvation after sin. Something angels long to catch a glimpse of (1 Peter 1:10-12). No wonder some angels must get jealous.

Have you ever heard someone call their daughter an "angel"? I have. I always want to shoot back... "you mean... sinner." Not to be mean, but in order that the truth of their condition is clear from the beginning. They are humans, not angels, and all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23).

This actually leads to some greater thoughts that I've thought, thanks to the likes of Diogenes Allen's book Philosophy for Understanding Theology (I've linked to the most recent edition of his book but will be citing his 1985 edition that I own). Specifically, in his introduction chapter he writes about the generosity of God:
God's freedom in creation is the reason we view creation as an act of sheer generosity and also the reason God is unknowable in essence or being. ... God is the Creator and that the existence and order of the universe show that God is generous. Without being able to comprehend divine being, we know from the act of creation that God is generous, and we know something of the immensity of divine generosity from the nature of the world. That gift does not, however, exhaust the extent of God's generosity. We learn this from the second way God is related to us, namely through the call of the people of Israel to a specific mission and through the incarnation. In creation God gave the physical universe its nature, and to human beings God gave their kind of life. But with the acts of calling Israel and becoming incarnate for our sakes, we learn that God created us in order to have a life with God, indeed that we are ultimately to share the divine life, which is beyond our mode of existence. Divine generosity is thus greater than we could realize simply from God's being related to us as Creator. Only in seeing God as Redeemer, indeed as Redeemer in Christ do we realize the even greater depths of divine generosity.

However immense the generosity expressed by God as Creator and incarnate Redeemer, the inexhaustible source from which that generosity springs is beyond our comprehensions. ...God's actions never exhaust the divine nature, and we know God only as God acts or relates to us.
This brings me back to angels... not babies, but the actual angelic beings, also in God's created order, but without the ability to procreate. 1 Peter 1:10-12 is where I am getting the following thoughts. Considering that God's acts reveals to us God's great generosity it is interesting to consider it from the perspective of angels. Angels had a choice to fall away and follow Lucifer/Satan, or to remain loyal to their Creator God. Once the choice was made it was not given to the angelic beings to change their loyalties back to God. They understood God's generosity toward them as their Creator.

For human's, however, God's generosity in human procreation, the incarnation of Jesus Christ, and in redemption are all a demonstration of God's generosity beyond what angels had seen before... "things angles long to get a glimpse of" (1 Peter 1:10-12). This is an amazing thing. But you know what? God is even more generous than that. To God be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Charlotte The Ravens Fan!

I recently heard from a local Steelers fan (BOOOOOOOO) that as kids grow up with parents rooting for a sports team, the kids usually follow suite and root for their parents team. Thanks to Charlotte's grandma Smith we have begun such loyalty a week and a half from birth! I'm going to need some Orioles gear for her soon.

Let's go Ravens!




More important than rooting for my favorite sports teams, I hope and pray that she will delight in the living God and that her allegiance to Jesus Christ is bar none.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Grandparents Arrive... and Uncle Steve

Pete: My folks arrived in Dallas, TX today along with my youngest brother, Steve. My parents came here for our wedding, a visit a half year later, and for my graduation from Dallas Theological Seminary last year. Now it is time to meet their newest addition to the Smith clan: Charlotte Noella Smith.


They bore gifts from friends and family in the process and will be heading off to NM on Monday for a week long trip (this week). We shall see how that picture taking adventure goes when they return for Thanksgiving week.


This was Steve's first time flying as an adult. He got a headache and probably didn't enjoy it as much. What can you say as he wasn't on much sleep after working 3d shift? It is also his first time crossing the Mississippi River and first time to Dallas, TX. He'll be the one to tell you why he wasn't able to quite make it for our wedding and almost missed this trip too. But he made it and that's a good thing!

The plan: Welcome him to Texas with some Baker's Ribs BBQ, home to my favorite ribs and brisket in town.

After arriving, they needed some lunch and introduced them to a local burrito hot spot: Chipotle. Seemed to go over well, but I think they won't be hungry for BBQ until after I am surely hungry. Off to have some fun with the family! It's adventure time!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Birth Story


It's taken me a week and a half now after Charlotte's birth to find the time, energy, and to collect my thoughts enough to recall the events leading up to and including her birth. Still even now when I finally sit down to write the story, it's hard to know where to begin when now the memories that were so strong and powerful moments after her birth have faded into the sweetness I see when I look at her precious face. But it is a story worth remembering and I hope those who read about it will be able to take with them just a small piece of the blessing it was - a blessing that continue to grow for us with each day we share with her.

It was early morning of November 5th, eleven days past my due date, around 1am, that very mild contractions started about every 20 minutes. I slept through most of them until I started timing them around 4am. They were still steady at 20 minutes apart - very mild yet could still note a start and stop time - at 9am when we were ready to leave for an already scheduled appointment with the midwife. We called her up and asked her what we should do and she told us to come on in, that it would be a good time to check me out and see if there's any progress. On the way there Pete was almost sure that it would be the day we'd have the baby. As for me, I had been having contractions off and on throughout the week and I had been hopeful before, so I was trying not to get my hopes up this time only to get let down again.

At the appointment my midwife, Cecily, checked to see if I was at all dilated. She had checked me two other times already in the past two weeks and each time she couldn't tell because my cervix was posterior; this time was no different. The baby was at a +1 position though which told us that she was moving down in the birth canal a bit. She told us she thought the baby would be here soon, and to go ahead and go home and get some rest. All the way home I continued to have contractions every 20 minutes apart of equal intensity - mild to very moderate. We stopped by Big Lots on the way home to get a couple things and then headed home. Once at home, at around 11am, the contractions very quickly went from 20 minutes between contractions - mild intensity, to 10 to 5 to 3 minutes between contractions, lasting about a minute each - medium intensity. We called the midwife and doula and both told us to hang in there and labor at home as long as it felt comfortable, no need to rush to the hospital yet. I was eating my lunch (Top Ramen - still with the pregnancy cravings) and was just barely able to finish it between contractions. My doula, Michelle, said if you can smile for a picture it's not time to go to the hospital yet. I was still smiling, so I told her okay, and that we'd call back when I wasn't. Pete had to call her back not more than 15 minutes later, reporting no smile on my face and contractions lasting 90 seconds long and a two minute break between each one. He called her and our midwife, Cecily, and told them we're on our way to the hospital. The contractions strengthened in intensity on the way to the hospital and once we got out of the car, I had to stop on the sidewalk twice on the way into the building to have another contraction, hanging on Peter bear-hug style with each one. This soon became my favorite position to go through each contraction.

We got the the admission desk and there were a couple other women there who were staring at me like I was some sort of circus act as I experienced each contraction in the waiting area. Either they had never seen a woman in labor or else they were in that 20 minute apart stage of labor and freaking out at the thought of what their labor would look like in a few hours as they were witnessing live proof of it in me. We were given a whole stack of forms to fill out, and I'm sitting there in the waiting room having serious contractions, still 90 seconds long and one after the other, thinking there's no way I can concentrate on any forms but only on getting through the next contraction. I went to the desk and told her I preregistered and can't fill anything out right now. I think she saw the serious look in my eyes that told her she would soon be part of this circus act if she didn't let me skip through all the red tape. I asked her to flip to those where I had to sign and I just signed my name - I have no idea what I signed and at that point I really didn't care. At that point Cecily walked in and was there to help right away.

They then had me go across the hall to the triage area. I presume this is the area where they check most women out and see if they've progressed far enough to stay or if they need to go back home. Thankfully Cecily was there right away to meet us and help us through the process. They had me change into my nightgown and get up on the bed to strap in the baby monitors. They checked the heartbeat as I had a few more contractions and during one of them the rate was quite low. Cecily had me change positions and it quickened up right away. She checked me for dilation and my cervix, low and behold, was no longer in hiding, but already at a 5 and I was about 80% effaced, and +2 station.

It was now about 1:30pm and they finally had a room available in labor and delivery. They asked me if I could walk over there or needed to be wheeled in the bed. Seeing as how I couldn't move any more when a contraction hit, I told them to go ahead and wheel me over - on the way another huge one hit and I was glad I had that option. I got to the labor and delivery room and soon after that my water broke. I decided to labor standing up, as it felt much better than laying in bed. I hung onto Peter most of the time in a bear hug fashion. Cecily and Michelle suggested I try to sit in the bath and so I gave it a shot. It was a nice change to feel the warm water on me and helped me get to the next stage of labor a bit more easily. About this time I had a few contractions that came one after another with no break. I remember thinking, this one will be over soon and I'll get to rest, but then right at the peak, another peak followed. It was then that I had a moment where I thought I would lose all control but knew that wasn't an option. I realized there was no turning back now and I had to ride this out to the end. I tried to keep my rhythm going with the moans I made for each contraction - tried to keep my voice low and my muscles relaxed. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life, by far. I realized at this point why so many women get drugs, but at the same time the option of doing so never materialized in my mind to anything more than that realization. I wanted to experience the fullness of this birth, and that was exactly what I was doing. I knew with each contraction I was coming closer to the end and I knew it wouldn't last forever. I just kept telling myself, just be in the moment, have this one contraction and don't think of anything past it. I always prided myself on having run marathons and the stamina and strength it takes to do such a feat. My pride was demolished in the face of these contractions. I know now my marathon running self has nothing on all the women out there who have given birth naturally. It's a whole other league than anything I've been up against before.

After the water cooled a bit and I could feel myself shaking, I got up and went back to laboring by the bed. Cecily checked me again and found that I was 7cm dilated and 90% effaced. She checked in another hour or so, around 3:30pm and I was 9cm, and then fully dilated at around 4pm. She told me I could start pushing if I felt the urge. I felt the urge and had been told there was relief of sorts in the pushing stage and I was at the point where any relief I thought would be a great thing. It turns out that pushing hurt just as much as the contractions, but with it came an element of control that encouraged me to keep going. With the contractions, they just overtook me and didn't give me options for my response; with pushing, I could be an active participant and at least feel like I had a part in the process moving forward.

I tried pushing leaning over the side of the bed a few times with little success. Cecily suggested I try to sit up in bed and push there; I followed her suggestion and made a little progress there. I asked her if gravity would help if I stood up and squatted while I pushed, and she told me I could give it a try. I stood by the side of the bed and squatted down to the ground with each push and then Peter and Michelle helped me up to lean over the bed while I rested between pushes.

I was told that by this time I had been pushing for a little over an hour. I lost all track of time and if you asked me afterward, I might have told you I had only been pushing for a half hour or so. There were moments during this time where I wasn't sure all my effort was working to get little Charlotte out. Then, finally I could start to hear in Peter's voice the excitement as I got closer to the end. He was watching the whole thing and could see the progress of Charlotte's head crowning. Cecily asked me at one point toward the end if I wanted to reach down and feel the baby's head. I did and it was a good encouragement to know I was close to the end. I could feel the pain of her head crowning just kept thinking how true the "ring of fire" expression was that I had heard by so many women before me. For the final pushes I was so exhausted that I got down on all fours to gain the energy to bring our little baby into the world. With the last push, I gave everything I had and pushed out Charlotte's whole body - head, shoulders, body and all in one push. Charlotte came out with one hand on each side of her head, which I think probably made the process a bit more difficult. I can't remember ever wanting anything to happen as badly in my life as I wanted this little baby out at last. Along with the pain of that final push came a feeling of great relief as I felt her exit my body.

Once she was out, they took her to the station next to the bed to clean her off and make sure she was strong and healthy. I told Peter to go be with her while I caught my breath. I was still on my hands and knees and could barely breathe. I stayed there for a couple minutes while Michelle encouraged me to take some deep breaths and helped me relax enough to stand up. Michelle and the nurses helped me back to the bed to deliver the placenta and get stitched up. I remember Cecily asking me to give another couple pushes to deliver the placenta, and I guess I pushed because it came out, but I remember not feeling any muscle control remaining within me to push anymore. I was thankfully able to escape without an episiotomy, but did experience a bit of tearing due to her hands being next to her head when she came out.


Peter called out, "It's a Girl!" and announced her name, Charlotte Noella Smith. It made me so happy to hear him introduce her and I could hear him anxiously wanting the nurses to finish up so Charlotte could "be with her mother". I could hear him saying that she pooped right there at the baby station when they were cleaning her up. Healthy girl! They brought her to me as I was getting stitched up, which was a good distraction for me. She was brought to my chest, skin to skin, and immediately started breastfeeding. I knew very quickly that she'd do great, as she had quite a strong suckle from the start. A week and a half later now, she has turned out to be quite a good feeder.

They checked my blood pressure after we were both all cleaned up and together, and it was extremely high. So high that they needed it to come down a bit before they were able to bring me to my private post delivery room. I also couldn't stop shaking, which continued for the next day, I believe due to all the adrenaline that came from a fully unmedicated birth. It finally came down enough to move me to the post delivery room but never down to my pre-labor pressure I had that morning, even by the time I left the hospital.

I was glad I had the option to stay in the hospital for two days because I'm not sure I could have even made it out to the car before then. I'm not sure if it was from all the squatting during labor and pushing or from the tearing or all the muscles used I've never used before, but I was so sore it made it difficult to even change positions in bed, let alone get out of bed to go to the bathroom or pick up Charlotte. I had to have either Peter or a nurse hand Charlotte to me each time I had to feed her and to take her again when I had to go to the bathroom. I had always heard of my friends who had their babies naturally going home that day or soon after and never anticipated it being this difficult to recover. But, now a week and a half later, the pain from healing is virtually gone and thankfully the memories of that pain weaken with each passing day. I just remember that night after I had her and the following day, the distinct feeling of having undergone a major traumatic event. If someone had asked me that day if I wanted anymore children, I'm not sure I could have said yes. I thank the Lord those feelings fade, because if they didn't, no woman would ever have more than one child in her life, at least unmedicated. So, now a week and a half later, the pain having faded both physically and mentally, I can say with full confidence that yes, I definitely want more children. But, I won't complain if we wait six months before trying again.

There were so many answered prayers worth noting for this birth story. First and foremost, Charlotte came on her own and I didn't have to be induced. I was able to experience a fully unmedicated birth. I had her during the day rather than the middle of the night. I didn't have to have an episiotomy. It was a relatively quick and uncomplicated labor and delivery - the bulk of the process taking right around five hours. And, most importantly, the Lord gave us a beautiful, healthy baby girl at the end of it all. Praise the Lord indeed!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Odds and Ends...

Pete: I have resided in Dallas, TX for 7 years now. This has been the most enjoyable autumn colors I have seen. Thursday morning November 5th I remembered to capture a few images of it's beauty before the event that changed my life completely. We were on our way to the scheduled appointment with Victoria's midwife and I just knew it was the day. So here I write the last few odds and ends of childless adulthood that I remember in chronological order, thus setting the stage for the event of events later in the day.

Like I said, I knew it was the day. I snapped a final few poses of Victoria pregnant in our living room.

We left for the midwife appointment and the rear driver's side window of the back seat kept sliding down since the motor was so strong it broke a part that held the window up (I fixed it temporarily with the almighty Duct Tape the next day).

The autumn leaves on Markville heading toward T. I. Blvd were more yellow than other colors.

The Parking meter that is the best ever was open and we parked to use it. A single dime gets you a whole hour of parking. We put 2 dimes in. I was feeling generous. [Victoria: I call it the "Magic Meter".]

After parking, we walk to the Baylor hand in hand as usual, past an elderly housing building. One of the ladies who works there loves to see us walk by as she does some work outside. She said she likes to see us still in love (holding hands).

After the midwife appointment we stopped by a Big Lots! for something. They didn't have it but they did have an eye catching pink Christmas tree.

Turned on the radio to try to distract my wife while she labored in the car. Heard a short clip of Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion."

That's it, those were my final pre-fatherhood thoughts. Odds and ends.

TWMHTHS #2: Excellent 3 course meal from church friend is a big hit!

Pete: I know, I know, you want the story of the birth and more pictures! Trust me, we'll get there. Just not yet. It is a lot of work to maintain any sense of normality and earn some down time. One of the very fine things Victoria and I enjoyed before Charlotte was born was a nice evening meal together. Having to do so much every day, most of the day, it is not yet possible to cook as we used to. We'll get there again, we hope. But right now is recovery time.

Home is really the best place to recover. Victoria and Charlotte came home on Saturday November 7th around 3pm. Kati, Victoria's sister, made the trek north Saturday morning with her husband Erich and 1 year old Arwen in tow. It was great to see them as they were our first visitors (see photo). Kati and Erich were a good help till Monday morning when they returned to Austin. Kati made a very kind Rosemary Chicken on noodles dish. It was definitely a 2B but because it smelled so nice after being in the hospital, it earns a 3B. Great timing can bump an easy dish up just like in baseball, a player could turn an easy double into a triple on account of an unsuspecting defense. It was a nice first meal home for recovery. Thanks Kati! FYI she probably usually cooks HRs. This was on short notice and limited supply to what we already had at home for the most part. That's right she hit a 3B with one arm tied behind her back! My wife often gets advice from her older sister on meal prep and for that I am a thankful beneficiary.

Our local church, Community Bible Chapel provides a meal ministry to those in recovery from hospitalizations. This evening, our dear friend Charlene Graham, from church brought a very fine 3 course meal. I must say, right off the bat, it was a HR. She was energized to meet the baby (photo below) and made it to the third floor of our apartment building doing quite well. She greeted us warmly and spent a moment checking out Charlotte.

Charlene has a grand daughter named Charlotte who is getting married this weekend. Congrats to her and her soon to be husband.

Gordon and Charlene have a place on the Big Thompson just outside of Estes Park, CO. (and yes she was there for the dreaded July 31, 1976 flood where one of her dear family members died) We have gone to visit them and been their guest back in June of 2007 and August of 2008. They are so very kind to have allowed us the opportunity to enjoy some rest in their neck of the woods. I often look forward to visiting with them in the evenings over dinner there in CO after a day of hiking. It is so restful and peaceful with them and the kind dinner today was just the right medicine to continue Victoria's recovery here at home. Thank you Gordon and Charlene!

I'm no salad man, but her salad was sweet... literally. It consisted of candied toasted almonds, mandarin oranges and a homemade salad dressing that I can only describe as the sweetest one I've ever had.

The homemade chicken pot pie casserole type of dish was the second course accompanied by dinner rolls. It had a very cool flaky crust on the bottom (not on top) and was topped off with french fried onions. It turned out wonderful after following her instructions to bake it for 30 minutes. I imagine you can solicit her recipe for the salad and casserole type of dish by emailing a request for it (gramit-at-aol.com). The third course was a bundt cake. I just finished off the previously blogged cake today and now I have a new one to start.

Victoria mimics My Big Fat Greek Wedding line when the soon to be in-laws bring the desert to the Greek household for the first family gathering of both families and proceeds to pronounce: BUNNNNNNDT! Glad to see my wife is recovering well... her sense of humor is returning!

I added an enjoyable beverage on the side with the bundt cake: Woodchuck Draft Cider: Granny Smith. Excellent choice to celebrate any November day.

Gordon and Charlene also included a card that ministered deeply to me when she cited Psa 103:17-18.

Thanks to Kati and Erich and Gordon and Charlene Graham for their kind help recovering from my wife's first birth!